Eagles Rams Preview

St. Louis Rams at Philadelphia Eagles
Latest Line, as of Friday: stl   +7    PHI

Breakdown
The St. Louis Rams are going to get waxed on Sunday. That's all there is to it. But since I'm obligated to tell you how, when, why and in what fashion the Eagles will maul the billy goats, here are a few things to ponder:

Rams
    Gone are the days of Marshall Faulk (now on TV), Issac Bruce (now toiling in obscurity in the bay area) and Kurt Warner (now slaving away in the desert). The new-look Rams are about as exciting to watch as paint drying, grass growing or your daily ESPN Brett Favre update (actually, that last one far exceeds anything in recent memory on the boring scale. I'm yawning thinking about it).
    The Rams went 3-13 last year. "But 4and26, maybe they had a tough schedule!!!1!!1" No. They played in the NFC West. Let me repeat that: The NFC West. What's the only division that can make a claim against the NFC West as worst in football? If you said NFC South, pat yourself on the back. Why is that relevant? That's the division they played interconference. So, to break it down for you, they started off the season losing 8 straight, including losses to the Panthers, Niners, and Ravens. Oh, and worst of all, they were inexcusably SWEPT by the Cardinals, including a 48-19 steamrolling in the finale. So, to put it bluntly, they were tragically awful last year.
    Tory Holt is still one of the best receivers of all time. It's such a shame for someone of his caliber and stature to be playing on a team that probably wouldn't be favored heavily to beat the in-state college team, the #6 Mizzou Tigers. He STILL managed to start all 16 games and haul in 93 balls for 1189 yards. His consistency is remarkable. Keep in mind that it was a hurt and ineffective Marc Bulger and the ancient Gus Frerotte throwing him passes. The sad part is that he drew double teams so Randy McMichael and Drew Bennett could possibly do some damage, and they just fell flat on their faces. Drew caught 33 balls last year. Go back to Tennessee, you bum.
    The offensive line is aging and/or terrible, and Orlando Pace just keeps fading away from his glory days. 4and26 laughs at his predicament, because Orlando is an Ohio State graduate. Anyway, Steven Jackson's still good, but he keeps facing 8 men in the box. He'll get his yards, but he won't get his TD's. The secondary is banged up and suspect, and the D Line is either too young or too old.
    The bottom line? This is a 3-13 team that made very little improvement. They ranked 28th in ppg and 31st in points allowed pg. They can't cut it until their youngsters get some more experience.

Eagles
    Donovan McNabb looked like his old self in the last few games of 2007. Don't look for anything more than 200 yards in this one, though. Low estimate? Consider that the top two Eagles receivers (Curtis and Brown) are banged up, and that the birds will be most likely running the ball consistently because Brian Westbrook, the most complete back in the league, will be looking to start off 2008 with a  bang. Look for the mighty one from Nova to accumulate, at a minimum, 150 yards total (90 rushing, 60 receiving sounds about right) and a touchdown or two. The Rams should get a steady diet of Buck and Zo as the game wears on to keep 36 fresh. The Rams ranked 20th in run defense in 2007, and start no players in their prime on the defensive line (Carriker and Long are raw, and you need to use carbon dating to figure out the age of Laroi Glover and Leonard Little.) Mix that with the fact that the Eagles offensive line has no holes, and you have a trench war that was over before it started. William, excuse me, Tra Thomas will absolutely manhandle Chris Long, the Rams highly touted first round pick from UVA.
    Hank Baskett, Jason Avant and DeSean Jackson could be the top three receivers on the depth chart on Sunday. As usual, all eyes will be on the electrifying rookie from Cal. He'll get a few passes thrown his way, sure, but watch out for him on punt returns. He makes professionals look like amateurs with his side stepping, spins and jukes, not to mention his world class speed. He and Demps turned the return game, which was a backbreaker last year (please god, no more Reno Mahe), into a gamebreaking strength.
    The Eagles defense is disgustingly awesome. Bunk and Patterson are as good as it gets at DT. The rotation at DE should be frightening- just when you've had enough of Parker and Cole, here come Abiamiri and Clemons. The LBs are all homegrown, fresh, young, athletic, big, fast and ready for action. Bradley, Gaither and Gocong will make a solid linebacking corps for years to come. And what else needs to be said about the secondary? Mikell may be a little young, and Dawk a little old, but they both excel. And it is, without question, the best group of cornerbacks in the league. Sheppard, Samuel and Brown, even with all the drama thats enveloped them, should be lights out. Steven Jackson will be swallowed in the box, Tory Holt will be blanketed, Marc Bulger will be pulverized.
This won't be close.

Philadelphia 27, St. Louis 6